ill see you around sometime.

My brother and I in the waters of the Pacific for the first time.

So as I’m sure all of you know I have been on vacation along the west coast.

Having gone through the same routines the whole summer I was excited to begin vacation. We left the 14^th for San Francisco and stayed there for a few days. San Fransisco (or Frisco as I have learned to call it) is wonderful. It stays at a constant 65-70 degrees all the time due to its close proximity to the bay. Although we did stay in a kind of ‘touristy’ area, it was great. I visited Alcatraz which was a blast. Did my own little ‘Sideways’ and did some wine tasting with my parents in Napa Valley. Ate Seafood almost every day and road the cable cars up and down the hills. Probably my favorite thing was walking across the Golden Gate Bridge (about a mile and a quarter). It’s covered in fog pretty much all the time and I never actually saw the bridge as a whole the whole five days or so I was there. When we walked to the other side we soon discovered that there was no bus station on the other side of the bridge and were faced with having to walk across at almost night time so we picked up a cab. So worth it.

We then took a plane to Seattle and I got to sit next to the window (which I made a deal with my brother to let him sit next to the window on the way there to Frisco so I could watch the rain fall when we landed in Seattle BUT IT DIDN’T RAIN THE ENTIRE TIME WE WERE THERE.) I read three books while I was there. I visited the Boeing factory since my dad is a huge airplane enthusiast. I did learn that the Boeing factory is the largest building in the world (area wise) and I saw the largest digital picture in the world of a lady with her eyes closed and arms in the air on the door that the airplanes are rolled out of when they are assembled. Don’t be jealous.

A few blocks from our hotel was Pikes Place Market which I have decided is my favorite place on earth (sorry Baylor). It’s basically a street where people can sell whatever they want and oh my goodness do they have some cheap good fruit. My mom brought home two bags of Mt. Rainier cherries to eat. Speaking of Mt. Rainier, I went there too. Me and my bro did some splorin and took about a thousand pictures of the mountain.

I also went to Victoria and realized that I don’t like Canadians but they do have nice gardens.

My vacation was a blast and watch out for brians new line up of vacation t-shirts.

Now back to this:

a note you left for me

"You would like to speak to this woman, ask her if she's eaten dinner. Perhaps she is the one who could make you forget your cares and woes, start eating breakfast, take up jogging."

nothings wrong.

couldnt stop singing this today. of course i only could remember one line "whos going to drive you home tonight." still one of the best.

7-12

woke up .12:40. got on computer. barnes and noble. bright lights, big city. no candus. basketball. won. swimming with ben. car wash. free vacuum. drop off brother. weed eat yard. shower. texas roadhouse with dad/brother. arnold palmers. sit at bar. astros game. cinnamon rolls. steak. full. throw momma from the train. grace. organize records. the informers. fall asleep. start over.

media

Ok I usually write blogs about the stupidest things and am terribly apathetic towards politics, but after watching the news these past few days and reading on the computer I’ve just become sick of it all.

Michael Jackson was just a human being. He has just as much worth as the protestors in Iran and the people dying in Africa. It upsets me to see more and more people talking about Michael’s death than the turmoil with our economy or protestors in Iran.

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s sad that Michael died, but I cannot wrap my mind around someone crying and this sudden surge in popularity after his death. Sure he was a great singer and I am sad he died so young but cmon. Al Sharpton talking about setting up memorials to Jackson in major cities around the U.S, really?

I should have known though, it’s expected that people care about celebrities like they do, even if I don’t. I can understand that. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I dislike this ridiculous amount of media coverage that he’s getting while when he was alive the very same media tore him down.

I know people will disagree but whatever.

Ooh. Sexy Girlfriend.

This summer has been dedicated to romantic comedies.

I have been chugging along through the list of the all time greats. I’v been addicted to the brat pack movies of the 80’s; the fashion, the music, the richies, and the zoids. After watching pretty much every movie dedicated to high school in the 1980’s/early 90’s, I’ve come to a decision: Pretty In Pink is my favorite (and possibly the best) 80’s movie. Don’t get me wrong, it was hard to choose. In fact, as I type this very sentence I’ve decided that Ferris Buellers Day Off is just as good. So I’m calling it a tie.

Molly Ringwald….*sigh*…..I am in love with her. She is excellent in Pretty in Pink (although much more attractive in 16 candles in my opinion).

I wish I could go back in time and tell Duckie to keep dancing to “Try A Little Tenderness” and stay away from the garbage that is “Two and a Half Men”. Charlie Sheen too.






GIVE ME BACK MY HEART MOLLY RINGWALD.

vanilla almond teeth

I'd eat beans if you'd just stay.

from june until september you're all i remember

I do apologize (to all three people who read this blog when they’re bored) about my lack of blogging activities. It’s not that I’m so busy that I can’t find absolutely no time to turn out some sort of dribble on here, in fact I have quite a lot of free time. I’ve just become extremely lazy.

My summer so far has been without incident. I’ve started work at Office Depot and work pretty much every night stocking and fixing up the store. It’s boring but I work by myself so I like it.

On my first week there I was learning how to check people out on the register and a couple gave me their money and as I was counting it a fly flew up my nose. Im not making this up. I started rubbing by nose and blowing and finally he popped out. Somehow I managed to do this without the couple knowing or drawing attention to myself.

At night the manager has to count the register and he picks whoever is standing closest to him to double check his counting and it turned out to be me. As I was counting I realized this was the first time I had ever held a thousand dollars in my hands and you know what? It wasn’t as much money as you think (partially because it was all in hundred dollar bills). Still, it’s quite a bit of money to my nineteen year old self.

I’ve recently subscribed to Netflix and I think the moment I did I kissed goodbye to what little social life I had for the rest of the summer. I spend so much time on Netflix reading reviews and looking at movies recommend to me it’s not even funny.

Every day for the past week Alex, Ben, my brother, and I have been driving to Ault elementary in Fairfield to play 2 on 2 basketball. Alex and I are one team and my brother and Ben are on the other. Alex and I have dubbed our team name as “Team BAWS” (pronounced BOSS) which stands for “Brian Alex Williamson Sanders” (our names combined in a weird order). While the enemy has dubbed their name (a rather lame one if I do say so myself) as “Team BS squared”, which stands for Ben Beadle Steven Sanders”….Iknowright?

We play 3 games and best two out of three wins the title of “CHAMPIONS FOR THE DAY”. Team BAWS has won one title while team BS squared has won one also. Although I am not considering their win as an actually win because I rolled my ankle (pain) in the second game which allowed them to score without challenge from me.

Nights spent staying up late, reading too much, working with people I’ll probably never see again, hot days, dry summer grass, and old memories.

The summer never ends.

quick

"How old are you? "
"A hundred. "
"You don't look it."

and I am once again with you

"What does everybody want from me? Leave me alone. I don’t want to go back. I’m tired of everything. I’m tired of my lawyer and my accountant and I can’t help anybody. I can’t help the cancer society and I can’t help the blind people and the kidney victims, I can’t help my sister and I don’t want to get married Isobel. It’s the last thing I need now is a family and a commitment. Isobel?"

Lake Girl

At both entrances to my neighborhood there are two big lakes. At the end of last summer I left for college and my trips home were mostly for holidays and the occasional weekend. This past semester as I pull into my neighborhood I drive past the lake I began to notice that there is a girl standing there listening to music. She stands on the corner by the bench and just stares at the lake and occasionally looks at the cars that pass. She’s probably in middle school or early high school, but come rain or shine; I can usually guarantee her to be out there when I drive by during the afternoons.

Now I am not the only person to notice this girl. My mom and my brother have also developed this weird fascination with this girl, coining her Lake Girl. Sometimes my brother will even declare when he gets home from school “Saw the girl by the lake on my way home” nonchalantly.

The other day I had fallen asleep watching T.V upstairs in my game room and I had left the doors open. So when my brother came home from school I woke up and just kind of laid there on the couch and I could hear my brother talking to my mom. All of a sudden I began to pay attention to what he was saying. Apparently when he drives by he always waves to the lake girl, and that day, she flagged him over. She asked if he had gotten a new truck and he said no. He asked her how she was doing and she said “good” and then a few cars were waiting behind him in the street so he had to leave.

I was shocked. My fascination with Lake Girl was suddenly renewed. I asked him questions about what their conversation entailed and “Why didn’t you ask her why she stands out by the lake all the time?!” he said he didn’t really think to and mostly because he didn’t have time.

I don’t know what it is but I like having something to daydream about. I like to have a routine, something that I can guarantee, no matter what, will always be there. Like the sound my fan makes at night or the way my mom’s car air conditioner smells when you first turn it on or how goldfish taste so much better after swimming. I don’t know what it is but Lake Girl has become one of those routines to me; I can count on her to be standing by the lake when I drive by. Maybe I should wave to her instead of watching her out of the corner of my eye when I drive by. Perhaps shed wave back.

alison

rainy day spent watching the french open with a nap somewhere in between.

best commercial ive seen in a long time btw.

a tuesday night

blueberry pie+ butterfinger hot chocolate + sleepless in seattle + going to bed early= the best night i've had in a long while.

pierrot le fou

graduation

Well it’s the first weekend of summer and I am back in Baton Rouge. Last night my cousin graduated high school and my dad and I spent good six or so hours of Friday driving/stuck in traffic.. The graduation was alright, about as fun as any graduation can be and I spent the better part of it recording it in the stands.

Afterwards my aunt had a graduation party planned for my cousin Stewart. I rode home with him in his new truck. He was proud to have a sun roof and we rode with it open the whole way back. I didn’t complain because living out in the country like they do the stars are much more visible. We were the first ones back to the house and Stewart did not want to have this party. His mom had a chocolate milk toast planned (his favorite drink) and other surprises. Perhaps the thing that aggravated him the most was a photo hanging by the food table. He yelled, “Brian look at it. Isnt it the gayest thing you’ve ever seen?! Brian, please, take it down. They won’t notice. Just take it down.” All the while I could not stop laughing. I took a picture so I wouldn’t forget it.



Whenever there is a food that I love that I don’t eat very often I tend to have the problem of overeating. Last night was no exception as I was presented with a plate of chocolate covered strawberries. I preceded to eat somewhere around 15 of them and promptly felt like throwing up everywhere. I spent the rest of the night sitting down and occasionally moaning.



On a side note I cut myself shaving last night right on the corner of my mouth and it hurts so bad. I cant yawn or drink orange juice indefinitely.

all time

1. this must be the place (naive melody) by talking heads
2. temptation- new order
3. ceremony- new order
4. just like heaven- the cure

those are the only 4 i can say for 100% for sure.

my life in an eighties sitcom (continued)

I live in a moderately sized house located on a picturesque street in the suburbs. Oak trees line the streets and we only have one set of neighbors (so as not to confuse the audience). The summers seem to only last a few episodes and the winters even less (we save those for the Christmas Eve show). Inside the stairs are always the same as every other sitcom along with the kitchen and living room.

My mom works and so does my Dad. We are upper middle class, yet everyone can identify with our life style. My Dad is really relaxed yet stern, while my mom is uptight yet loving. A few seasons in one of my parents will get laid off from their job and become a stay at home mom or dad, probably causing some sort of conflict with my younger sister. Did I mention her? Well she’s only a year or two younger than me and, man, do we not get along at all. She’s the most popular girl in her grade. A bit stuck up but every now and then there will be a heartwarming episode where we somehow become closer through some sort of conflict, somehow allowing our real personalities to shine. Who could have guessed she wouldn’t rat me out when I skipped school that one time?

Of course I have a younger brother and maybe an older one that’s off at college that we only see once or twice a season. My younger one is named some simple name like Billy or Timmy; always ending in a “y”. I’m closer with him than I am with my sister. Every now and then I’ll be seen teaching him how to play a sport, teaching him some trick that only older brothers know. He’d say something funny, probably beginning with the phrase “Well gee whiz…” then I’d smile and brush his hair with a wink.

What about me? I’d probably wear some sort of brown faded leather jacket. I’d come across as the semi popular, rebellious kid, but the audience knows that I’m secretly not. I’ll have a loveable best friend who’s pretty dumb and would act as the comic relief guaranteed to say something stupid in a bad situation.

In class I’d sit in the back, always slouching and a smirk across my face. My teachers all pretend to not like me but they all secretly love me. One episode I’ll fall asleep awkwardly on my book when I should have been studying for a huge test the next morning. I’d wake up and figure out my only option is to cheat. I stupidly write all of the answers on my arm and get caught in class. I’d get sent to the principal’s office and get a punishment no wear near as harsh at it should be. That’s not the point though; the audience learns a lesson about cheating, while being entertained at the same time.

A new situation is waiting in every episode; a new adventure that is never really that plausible. Everyone will be able to identify with at least one character so much so that they secretly think to themselves that if they were in this fictional universe that they would be that character.

The audience laughs loudly at funny situations and “aw’s” at the sentimental and no matter what everything turns out alright in the end.

*cue laugh track*

While the credits run the name of the show appears as the cast of characters take a picture and the screen freezes. Our theme song dwindles to a fade out ending.

FILMED IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

return to before

rainy day today, looks like most of the week too (hopefully). spending it in the library looking up pictures of birds for my wildlife ecology project. going back to the dorm sometime and going to make some butter finger hot coco, open the blinds, and watch tv.

i love rainy days spent in a quiet library.

odile

ive been watching some french new wave stuff/ being too lazy to post on my blogs.

isobel

i havent untied my shoes since you called it quits.

it's never been quite the same

one of my favorite movie scenes

If you havent seen "Manhattan", this clip is from the end of the movie. Basically Woody Allen's character is recording why he finds life worth living and although I dont have the same reasons, I just love it.




SPOILER:
When he takes off running, he is going to win back his ex girlfriend before she moves to London.

while i walked down to the beach

I always enjoy picking paper up off the ground. I found this one on monday and it looks like it someones schedule. Call me weird but I just like finding scraps of paper or notes that people have written. I used to like this girl who would love finding peoples shopping lists and since I worked at Target, I would constantly have my eyes peeled for left over grocery lists to give to her.
This just reminded me of that and I think its pretty cool that someone plans out their day like this. I kind of wish that I did something similar.

I dont know what Id do without a scanner.




ps. sorry if this is too big. the next smallest size was wayyyyyy too small. Thats what i hate about this blog is that i have extremely limited picture size options and the side of my blog cuts it off.

the swing of things

Man it is hot outside.
I just got back from a lab for my stupid wildlife ecology lab. We went to the marina across campus and it took me forever to find a parking spot. Turns out that along with my bird lab I am in a group with four other kids and have to go once a week for an hour to watch and observe turtles basking in the sun.
Fun times.

Ive just felt exhausted these past few days. I found myself getting angry in my head and saying really snide things to people at times. Im sleeping more than I usually do, but apparently it’s not enough.

Its taken me a while to get back into the swing of reading books again. I swore to myself that I would read “the age of innocence” before I watched the movie. I recorded the movie on my dvr at home over Christmas break and I called my brother upstairs and showed him the recording and I specifically said “Steve, you can erase everything on here while I’m gone, but just make sure that you DO NOT erase this movie.” I came back home for spring break and lo and behold he had erased it. Oh well. I’m about halfway through with the book but have just lost interest. Its good but I can’t pay attention anymore.

I failed a math test today so that put me down but I’m not going to worry about it anymore. My grades are slipping but I guess that means ill have to work over drive to get them up before the end of the semester.

my schedule:
• Study for wildlife ecology test tomorrow
• Get gas
• Buy water and Capri sun (ive been drinking my roommates and I feel bad)
• Return movies
• Run
• Dinner at 6
• Play wally ball at 10
On the bright side of things I came home after class and the Casiotone For The Painfully Alone album leaked and I’m listening to it right now. Its really really good. Line I just heard: “wish I kept a diary”. Me too, me too.

i'll see you in my dreams

Last night my room mate decided to listen to music while I was trying to go to sleep. I wasn't too upset because when that happens I just usually put my headphones in and listen to Django Reinhardt. I usually try not to listen to music when going to sleep because I'm afraid I'll get into the cycle of not being able to sleep without it. I did that over the summer. I'd fall asleep watching CNN or something else on T.V every night. I couldnt go to sleep without it and it was kind of a problem when I went off to college.

Anyways, last night was probably one of the most relaxing nights in past memory. I just closed my eyes and imagined Django playing. His cigarette pressed between his lips and his eyes closed as his fingers danced along the guitar. I usually can't stand those guitarists that just jam and play crazy chords but their is something about him. His playing blends perfectly into his backing band creating a classic jazz sound and it just whoos me like no other.

A relaxing night to a stressful few weeks.

EDIT: AHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS MY 50th POST AND I DIDNT MAKE IT AS AMAZING AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEEENNNN.

oh well. 50 posts in, what 3/4 months? not too bad. watch out 51: here i come.

Thursday

I’ll have the late shift; probably from about midnight till three a.m at the radio station. I’ve thought long and hard about this and I think my on air name would be “Pronto” and I’d disguise my voice. I’d play music that is only nostalgic and maybe some nights I’d even have a little contest. I’d say “the seventh caller to call in and tell me the name of the 26th president of the United States will win a prize!”. The seventh caller would come on air and would be excited and nervous and I’d say:

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Caroline”

“Well Caroline…you’re the seventh caller! Congratulation! So here’s the question one more time: who was the 26th president of the United States?!”

There would be screams and I’d be trying to calm her down.

“THAT’S RIGHT! YOU ARE ABSOLUETLY CORRECT! CONGRATULATIONS CAROLINE!”

It would be just me in the radio booth, and on the other side of the glass would be traffic and weather expert Bernard “Barns” James. He’d jump into the conversation every now and then just like the band leaders do on the late night talk shows. Everyone out in the real world would tune into listen to our banter and laugh and pretend that we were friends with them in real life. Theyd probably imagine that maybe Barns and I had been hanging out with them that evening, just watching T.V and joking around. Then when it got close to midnight I’d let out a sigh and say “Well it looks like ol Barns and I have got to head to work. See ya later.”

Barns and I would spend the night just chatting and listening to music. Maybe there would be an old coffee maker somewhere in the radio station. It’d make nasty tasting coffee but I’d eventually get so used to it that I wouldn’t drink any other coffee.

Maybe early in the morning, perhaps around 2:45, when Barns had gone to the bathroom and I was all alone in the station and pretty sure that no one was listening, I’d whisper a song dedication to you.

Your Silent Face by New Order

summer people

There a number of things that I am fascinated with. A few being: prep schools, autumn, space, WWI, pop culture in general, and youth.

I know its kind of weird to say "youth" as something to be fascinated with, when in essence, I am a youth. Its more of a idyllic version of youth that I have. I love the idea of summer romances. I love the idea of spending days without any cares in the world. Never sleeping on hot summers nights. Feeling that one cool breeze out of hundreds of humid ones, the one that makes you just want to close your eyes. Days spent swimming in a lake surrounded by a still forest. Nights spent swimming slowly and quietly in the lake with a group of your closest friends. The moon reflecting on the water and walking barefoot down a dirt road back to your house and the fireflies dancing above the ground. Days spent with your friends and having nothing to worry about but how you are going to spend tomorrow.

i didnt want it to mean that much to me.

i had some misconceptions about this band after their first album (mostly that they werent that good), but after seeing the video for their new song i am more than excited for their album. i love love love music like this. it reminds me of "movement" era of new order. style and melancholy included.

lets never talk about this again.

looks like im just the flavor of the week.

figured as much.

im a sap

im such a sap for stuff like this but i really dont care. i wish every commercial was as well thought out and original as this one-id probably watch a lot more tv if they were.

cold mountain air

I must have been something like five or six. It was so long ago that I can’t really remember any specific details about my dad’s co-worker/friend Gary.
I’m guessing I must have met him when we lived in Corpus Christi a long long time ago and I remember only two things about him:
1. He had a coffin as a coffee table in his living room and I would always sit there and ask if I could open it and he said no because id wake the person up inside.
2. He had a gigantic train set in his garage.

Something inside of me has this longing to build something really great and extremely meticulous that would take a bunch of planning but would be absolutely magnificent when I finished.

I’ve attempted this once and day dreamed about it twice.

I guess it was 8th and 9th grade that I was really into building models. I had a whole routine I would go through. I’d get my mom to take me to Hollywood Video and I’d pick out a movie from the classic movies section (this is where I my James Cagney phase got its start but that’s a whole other story). Id come home and wait for everyone to finish eating and go to bed and then Id pull the coffee table close and spend hours building model airplanes while watching old movies.

I think I built something in the area of ten planes. I started with small ones because I was afraid of building and messing up a large one, and I eventually worked my way up to the larger ones. My whole vision for this was to hang all of my models from my ceiling in my room. I’d stage air battles and lay in bed, right before I drifted off to sleep and imagine explosions and little miniature pilots floating down on parachutes.

Of course I got bored and moved on but I continued to daydream about my future projects.

I think I wrote a blog about this one on Roll With the Punch but I had always dreamed of buying a bunch of those packets of glow in the dark stars one summer. I’d get online and study pictures of the real night sky, how God made it, not like the Houston night sky where only a few stars are visible on the clearest of nights. I wanted to stare at the sky somehow. I had this whole fantasy in my mind (and believe me I knew this part was never going to happen). I imagined that I would have to build a scaffold like Michelangelo to reach the top of my ceiling and I’d be stuck lying on my back sticking pieces of sticky tack on the back of stars. It would take me all summer and on the last day of summer, as the first signs of fall could be felt outside, I’d open my window and let a nice cool breeze come in. Id put my hands behind my head and lie on my bed, imagining that the stars I had put on my ceiling were real. I’d even feel a little tingle of excitement when I found a constellation. “There’s Orion!” I’d say in a whisper. “You know they call him ‘the hunter’. See his belt? There, just to the right, is ursa major, ‘the great bear’.”

These past few weeks, for some reason, I have been thinking about Mr. Gary’s train set. I remember he had tunnels, a forest, and a little train station with small people waiting for the train; the conductor frozen with his lantern out looking down the track. I imagine that if I were to build a train set my town would be named Wellsville, snuggled in the cold mountain air of Vermont where sweaters are always worn, even in summer. It would look like autumn all year round and Id have a huge mountain range with a tunnel that was dynamited through years ago. You’d be able to stick your head down to eye level with the tunnel and watch the light of the train get larger and larger as it chugs its way along. Id have a time table with arrival and departure times and I would have to wake up every morning to make sure to start the train so it would be known as being the most reliable and on time train ever.

The last run of the train would leave at 11 o’ clock sharp. It’s the night train and only a few people would be on it. They’d all have little pull out beds to sleep on. Not all would sleep though. A few of the guys would stay up all night playing billiards in one of the cars and their girlfriends would be sitting in the corner talking and drinking tea. Then there is this guy standing on the platform of the caboose in the very back of the train. His head tilted up as he tries to find Orion in the clear mountain sky.

i am speaking in a whisper now

-Jens

clap your hands for monday mornings and awkward silences

im sorry guys, i tried on...saturday night think? to write a blog and i wrote a pretty good bit andiI re read it and hated it. i tried to finish it just now but i still hate it so i think i may just throw that one away. besides that attempt i was just realllyyyyy lazy over spring break as far as writing goes. i wasn't productive in the least. i kind of didnt want to write this one seeing as its 1:28 in the morning and i tried to resort to digging throught some stuff i have on the computer and man i knew i had written a bunch of stuff last semester for my old blog and just writing in general, but i was shocked at just how much i have on my computer of just paragraphs i have written of made up memories.

i have a feeling that sentence was a giant run on, but am too tired to fix it.

anyways. i hung out with my mom during most of the days of spring break. we went book shopping a few times and it rained for most of the week, and i have to tell you: going up and down the aisles of a tiny used bookstore while you can see the dark gray clouds and the pouring rain outside is absolutely amazing. it relaxes me like no other. pei wei afterward is also a plus.

i plan on blogging more often now. its funny because when i had absolutely nothing to do during spring break i could have written so many blogs (as i had planned) but didnt. now that im back at school and have homework i have this urge to just blog and blog and blog.

but we'll see.

spring break

i like giving myself projects to do-things to look forward to. so ive been thinking and ive decided that this spring break, starting this friday, i will write a blog a day-ending on sunday march 14th.

so watch this space. i know you want to know what brian is planning but you guys will just have to sit on the edge of your seat for three more days, but trust me: itll be worth it.

journal entries

*sorry i cant figure out how to resize it. might just have to squint. i may retype it if anyone wants to read it.

twee

It’s overcast days. It’s those few seconds of nervousness you feel before you reach out to grab a girl’s hand. It’s the moment when you close your eyes just before you go in for the kiss. Its bleak winters and lazy summers. It’s falling in love with a girl you’ve never met before. It’s the sad nostalgia you feel for the past. It’s the end of crushes and the beginning of new ones. It’s being in love at its purest and simplest form.

oh youve got blue eyes.

I keep having dreams about Target.
I know, its kind of odd, but I worked there for something like six months I think. It wasn’t my first job. I worked at a JC Penney by my house before that and absolutely hated it. You have no idea how terrible it is to fold clothes for hours on end and then organize them according to sizes. So I got a job at Target on the other side of the highway. Basically I’d get out of school, drive home, change into my classic red polo and classic khaki pants and drive to work to make it there for 3.30. Id go clock in grab a scanner and a walkie talkie and head to the back. There would always be a line of red carts with stuff on them for me to stock and I’d spend two and a half hours working on all of them to get them stocked. Then the night crew would come in, usually about five or six guys (including me) and we would begin in B block where the cards were and work our way down the aisles-pulling items to the front of the shelf to make it look like we had everything in stock-it was called zoning.
It sounds like a pretty boring job but I actually began to really enjoy it. After a while I got pretty high up in this particular Targets chain of command. Don’t get me wrong, I was still a store associate, but all of the team leaders and m.od’s would ask me questions and I always had the feeling that they trusted me just a little bit more than the other guys at times. If I would have stayed I don’t doubt I could have been a team leader in a year or two, but college comes first. I had these two really good friends, Michael and Drew. Drew worked electronics and was a junior in college and Michael was out of the military and was like twenty five or something. Michael and I were usually assigned to zone together and we would spend the whole time goofing around and he’d give me advice on girls and so would Drew (even though Drew’s was more of a joke). They were both two of my really good friends and I didn’t get to say goodbye to them when I left. I took leave of absence and left that day.
I could go back and work this summer but I don’t know how much I want to do that. I enjoyed stocking and being in a huge store down and aisle after it closed just whistling and being pretty much alone. I liked to listen to the sound of that steady fuzz coming out of my walkie. I miss all of the personalities and my friends (who have all probably left by now). I miss knowing where the fondue makers were (aisle B27 top shelf). I miss clocking out, jumping in my car and driving to Imperial City to get Chinese food for my lunch break. I miss my old boss Zach who was just out of college and really sarcastic that he was working at Target with a buisness degree but when he quit he told me to turn in any day off request and he’d approve it. I miss that summer.
I’m going to be going to summer school this summer and I probably need to just work on the side so I don’t die of boredom. I’m not looking forward to this summer. It’ll be different now that I’m done with my first year of college but I’m sure it will be better than last.

if you're still alive when you're twenty-five.

i have been terribly lazy these past few weeks. i meant to post a new mixtape for valentines day and i have a playlist in my head. dont fret, ill post it sometime this week hopefully. i could do it now but i stayed up till 2.30 last night doing math homework, and just my luck, my math class was canceled today so im sweeepppyyyy and i need to run.

latarz.

under blue moon i saw you

i literally just ran my mile. i usually bring my room mates digital watch since mine is analogue, to time myself, but he was using it so i had to go by the clocks on the wall and my watch. now according to my calculations, and i may be off, but i JUST ran my mile in...


wait for it...

6:53!!

and yet again no one wanted to run with me so i have no one to attest to my victory.

nevertheless i am now taking all challengers for a head to head mile run.
next up: bearathon.

did i walk all this way just to hear you say 'oh i dont want to go out tonight'

been kind of down lately but ill get over it as usual. enough of me being depressing on my blogs-its all just backwards glances now ladies and gentleman. speaking of a backwards glance ive been spinning the smiths and blondie non stop today. a bit of both words, and easily two of my favorite bands. i went through a serious smiths obsession at the end of 2007 that lasted for half of 2008 where i would only play the smiths. i bought every album on vinyl and knew (and still know) every song by heart. now im still a huge fan, but not to the degree i was then.

ANYWAYS.

yesterday i went running. i usually go with a few friends but all of them were busy so i went by myself. surprisngly i got my best mile time ive ever gotten so far: 7:10. beating my old record of 7:13. wuduuuuuuppppppp.
the victory was kind of mute since no one was there to see it so im settling on just telling the internet.

so tomorrow is friday and i have been looking forward to it all week. my bible study group is having a racquetball tournament and i have my eyes set on winning. now im usually the least competitive person and couldnt care less if i lost. a games a game right? well not tomorrow. see my leaders name is zach and occasionally him and I play racquetball against each other and he slaughters me every time and that would be fine, but he doesnt let me forget it. hes the most competitive person ive met. for example, on sunday i beat him in finger swords at church and he was so mad. i retired as soon as i beat him so he can never redeem himself.

whats my plan you ask? beat zach and get him eliminated from the tournament. i dont care if i lose every game, i just want to beat him. its going to be embarrassing if i dont seeing as ive been talking trash for a week now.

oh well. no plans for the weekend. im going to a training session all day saturday for a mission trip over spring break that i may or may not be going on. we'll see.

felt like i should actually write a blog for once seeing as ive been only posting videos to for the past few days.

lie to me and say "it's going to be alright."

Woody Allen how you woo me so.

I am dreaming we are dancing

downandout downandout downandout


on a lighter note i am so excited for this:

mayfly worms

i finished this book called "from rockaway" by jill eisenstadt a few weeks ago. it was really really good and there is this passage in the book that i really liked.

"I read once about how mayfly worms live in the mud in the bottom of a pond for eighteen years and how when they get out, finally become flies they mate and dies all in in an hour. That' living huh?"

interesting.

tonight was a disaster

oh yes, yes it was. UGH. ever feel like just saying that? UGHHHHHHH. just a long drawn out ughhhhhhhhhh.

well i do. especially after tonight. God i made that so awkward. mostly for myself, but hey, whats new.

then something clicks

my two most favoritest music things are as follows:

1. distortion and synths
2. guitars tuned just right to get that perfect janglinesh followed by lyrics about falling in love.

as far as the janglinesh and falling in love goes i dont think any other song comes close to this one.



ahhh if only there were more "skankin queens" in the world today.

i may be out of it but im still into you

i was watching tv just now and this commercial came one for this show called "one way out": oh my gosh.

here's the preview that i saw


i am so excited. you know this means im probably going to spend all day in the library tomorrow to finish all of my homework for monday night just so i can watch this show without distractions.

just read what he does on the first episode!:
Escapologist Jonathan Goodwin tests his theory of minimal movement with a scorpion trapped inside his mouth and with his body covered in 200,000 agitated bees. He must endure excruciating pain as he attempts to set himself free.

wuttttttttttttttttt

besides that, todays been alright. ive been kind of down but whatever.

a wrong turn and raindrops

i found this when i was looking through my box of letters from the 6th grade. i guess we had to have a list of what our ambitions were as a 12 year old and lets just say its changed a whole lot since then.



(the date on it is "february 26, 2002 Brian Sanders 12 yrs old)

"it was somewhere, right along here, that i lost all interest in life"

for the past few weeks i have been drinking nothing but "butterfinger hot chocolate" every night. it tastes sooooo good compared to the regular kind. its pretty easy to make too; i just stick a cup of water in the microwave and wala: waco water tastes drinkable again. i like it so much i thought about pouring all 8 packets out and eating them without water, but im pretty sure i would get really sick.

to accompany these hot chocolate cravings my aunt sent me these little debbie cakes that you stick in the microwave and it rises in like a minute and a half. its crazy.

you guys probably think all i eat is junk food- not true!

i just got finished watching the movie "breaking away". it was soooo good. one of the best sports movies ive seen, dont get me wrong, its not only about sports-it has a story line too. ( i dont think i breathed on that final lap)




its late and ive got class at 9 tomorrow morning. night guys.

please love this band for me

there's a place in my head where the sun never sets and my memory is selective

things i cant stand:

elliot smith

the fountain

henry david thoreau

rick von sloneker

things i love:

shoegaze

audrey rouget

dried blueberries

stardust memories

she's got a sunshine smile, the kind that warms up the corners of my cold room.

i came home for the weekend. first night back and i had a blast. some of my friends came over and we went hot tubing and played video games till four in the morning.

im not a very big video game type of guy. i dont feel the urge to shell out $400 dollars or more just to play video games, but my friend alex got this game called "left 4 dead" for Christmas.

i have been addicted ever since.

the whole jist of it is you just kill zombies. nothing else but that. so alex and i beat it on normal so we decided to up the ante and give it a go on advanced. we must have played this one level where you have to protect a boat house until a ship comes to get you at least 40 times over the break. we both thought it was impossible to beat but im happy to say friday night we beat it. this is going to sound reallllyyyyy lame and corny but we celebrated. we both were screaming and hugged and i was so happy and proud. weird huh?

so yesterday i went and got coffee with my good friend marc.

(marc)
i hadnt seen him since the end of summer and it was great to see him again. we both worked at jc penney two summers ago which was great. hes probably one of the funniest people i know/one of my best friends. i love just hearing him tell me stories about art school in kansas city. its literally like reading a bret easton ellis novel.

last night my dad got tickets from his company for the rockets game; we sat so close. it wasnt the first time i sat that close but get this: we sat next to mayor bill white, the mayor of houston. i know right! i love going to rockets games, theyre so fast paced and exciting and i get caught up in them. its always a blast and if i lived downtown id probably buy season tickets so i could go every night.
downtown houston

rockets game

today i spent four hours doing homework and basically didnt get anything done because i procrastinated every chance i got. oh well.

tonight i went to my friend ben's house. it was his sisters birthday and he had a bunch of our friends over and we competed against hannah and her friends in a scavenger hunt. it was fun, and we ended up winning so that was a plus.

im going back to waco tomorrow. im going to a conference i signed up for through our church. im not to sure how much i will enjoy it and im kind of half heartily regretting it. the weekend after im going to see los campesinos and broken social scene in austin.

oh ive gone on another masterpiece theatre kick. wow what a show. i love that kind of stuff.

did i find you or you find me?

so here it is: the first 15th of 2009. 11 more of these babies to go and i think that this is quite a good start.

the theme of the mixtape is songs that epitomize being in love. whenever i hear these songs i think it embodies (whether through vocals, mood, or just over all sound) what it feels like to genuinely care for someone that you love (whether they know it or not). both of these songs are two of my favorites in the whole wide world, and i know there is only two, but trust me, i went through all of the songs i have (a BUNCH) and none of them came close to these two so i didnt want to waste your time. these are the best of the best. i hope you enjoy it.

this one is for you amelia.



1. This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) by Talking Heads
2. Temptation (Alternate 12 inch version) by New Order

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?ymgtyg2ydr4

but i feel alright when you smile

My friend Alex and i have made a pact, signed in blood when the clock struck the witching hour.

not really, but we did decide to work out together.

even though he is all the way at UT Tyler and little old me is three hours away at Baylor we have both agreed to run a mile on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays. well I went into this with the attitude of "oh 1 mile pahhhleeeeaasseee, i ran that sophomore year in like 6 minutes. plus im a pretty skinny guy so im in shape AND i play water polo."

boy was i wrong.

apparently being skinny doesnt mean you are in shape seeing as it took me 10 minutes to run a mile on an indoor track on Monday. i was dying on the eighth lap and considered walking the final lap, but decided on a slow jog.

today i ran it again and did it in 9 minutes. i only ran it in 9 by pushing myself since alex ran his mile on monday in 9 minutes and i didnt want to get shown up again (that and i had incorrectly added how long i had been running and thought i was at 10 minutes and didnt want to drift over into taking 11 minutes, but that's beside the point)

This morning at like 8 o clock (and tuesday morning) some kid has been jump roping outside of my dorm room door. see, on the doors in my dorm, we have these air conditioning vents at the bottom and you can literally hear everything that goes on outside in the hall, INCLUDING a guy jumping rope for 5 minutes. i woke up to the sound of THWACK THWACK THWACK over and over, then he sneezed like 8 times in a row. i would have gotten up to see who it was but i was far too tired.

internet, i know you have been waiting anxiously for the third installment of brians online mix tape. fear not, i made the album art tonight and already have the track listing. "whats the theme this time brian?" you ask. well i cant just spoil the surprise can i? trust me, its good and i thought about it all day today what songs would make the cut and i have made my decisions.

wait its already the fifteenth technically! o well its still the fourteenth in my mind.

i've never met anyone quite like you before

i think i am about to die. turns out the most beautiful girl in the world (besides that girl that works at the library who i've only spoken to once and have never seen again), Victoria Bergsman (The Concretes, Taken By Trees) made a video for one of my favorite songs in the world: Temptation by New Order. Its absolutely wonderful if you have 8 minutes to spare.

it's been ever so grey

woke up today at about 8.15, probably the earliest i've woken up in about a month. i followed my parents back to waco because they wanted to see the apartment im staying in next year. last night my mom and i checked the apartment website and they said they were open on sundays from 1-6, turns out that's not the case so my family and i just went out to eat at pei wei instead.

i am so exhausted, something about driving for long periods of time just wears me out. i still have to unpack my all of my things and i have a stack of books and movies on my bed that i need to make room for on my shelf. i think i am going to treat myself and watch "deconstructing harry" tonight. such a good movie.

school starts tomorrow, what a long day it has been.

oh how i cannot bear the thought of you

I took my dog out for a drive yesterday. Well she isn't "my" dog exactly, shes a member of the family but I like to believe she loves me the most.



Did a few laps around the neighborhood, really relaxing.

I think I've come to the conclusion, and I know I may sound really weird saying this, but I don't want a bunch of friends. I just want a small group of people, maybe 5 or so, that I know really well. Not just guys, but also girls in this group of five or six. I want to be best friends with all of them and I imagine that I would never wonder what I am doing on any given night since we would all eventually end up hanging out together doing whatever we feel like.

That was random but that's one of the things I want in life right now. That and for Whit Stillman to write another movie.

kick it back

During December, when I was supposed to have been studying for finals, I had this huge idea for a blog that I thought would be awesome. I picked out all of my favorite albums and I planned on writing a review for each one. I didnt realize how time consuming it would be/ how lazy I am. So I did it for my top 5 albums and the rest aren't in any particular order.

1. Hold On Now, Youngster...-Los Campesinos!

Not only is this my favorite album of 2008 but it easily makes it into my favorite albums of all time. Filled with beats from a glockenspiel and references c86, Bonnie Tyler, a Pavement EP, K records, and victorian novels; Hold on now youngster seems to have it all. From sudden realizations of love (“The opposite of true love is as follows….REALITY”) to Gareth Campesinos witty remarks about doomed relationships (“I’m stitching up each one of your pockets so when we are together you’ll maybe look a little less bored”) makes this album fun to listen even just for the steady stream of pop culture references. The music and lyrics fit together perfectly bringing images of hopelessness and cynicism masked behind a camp persona. Something about this album (and this band) strikes a chord with me, and every time I listen to it I am filled with memories and the ability to identify with each song.

2.Alopecia-Why?

Alopecia-Why?
With self deprecating lyrics bordering on the perverted, Why? have finally found their form. With a sound that is hard to classify into a genre and the closest I can come would be “indie rap” (even though I don’t agree with that classification 100%) the albums brings a sense of freshness. Fronted by Yoni Wolf, Why? have been making albums for the past few years, successfully sliding under the radar until this years release Alopecia. Perhaps the most enjoyable thing about this album is the strange truth in these songs. With lyrics about how bad his life has turned out (“Faking suicide for applause in the food courts of malls” )to breaking up with his girlfriend (“I’ll see you when the sun sets east, don’t forget me”). Alopecia turns out to be masterful and consistent all the way through bringing a sense of unique pleasure that you’ve never heard anything like it before.

3.The Midnight Organ Fight-Frightened Rabbit

From the opening track, “The modern leper”, this small Scottish band steals your heart. Midnight organ fight (a kind of gross name if you think about it) is stuffed with heartfelt angst and pride with lyrics such as “So you just stepped out of the front of my house and I'll never see you again.” It’s hard to imagine these guys singing about falling in love when most of their songs stem from the initial depression and then anger of a break up. Imagine all of these emotions wrapped into 14 songs ranging from the slow to the fast and you have The Midnight Organ Fight.

4.Youth Novels-Lykke Li

It seems that at least once a year a Swedish band crosses the ocean and makes it big in the U.S. Last year it was Peter, Bjorn, and John, and it seems that this year’s was Lykke Li. Singing about falling in love and being too shy to do anything about it but dance(“easy conversations, there's no such thing oh, i'm shy, shy, shy”) and all the while stealing your heart. Her songs are catchy and her backing band plays acoustic guitars and the occasional synths. I’ve been listening to this album for months and it doesn’t get old at all.

5. Red, Yellow, & Blue-Born Ruffians

Around Septemberish I was really into Violent Femmes (and still am for that matter) and I wanted to find another band who sounded somewhat similar: and then I found Born Ruffians. Although they don’t sing about teenage angst as much as the femmes did but lead singer Luke Lalonde crafts a vocal style eerily similar to my ears. Stealing the show is the song “Barnacle Goose” with lyrics “And I'm frustrated with myself but I can't change I don't want to be me anymore.” Filled with fast paced songs and accompanied shouting vocals that pop in at the most unexpected but enjoyable times. Energetic and a fun to yell to in the car and one of the funnest (yeah I know its not a word but whatever) records of 2008.

the rest (in no particular order)
We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed-Los Campesinos!
Anecdotes-Foals
Alas, I Cannot Swim-Laura Marling
Women-Women
For Emma, Forever Ago-Bon Iver
The Airing of Grievances-Titus Andronicus
Little Joy-Little Joy
This is Ivy League-This Is Ivy League
Lust, Lust, Lust-The Raveonettes
In Ghost Colours-Cut Copy
The Rhumb Line-Ra Ra Riot
You & Me-The Walkmen
The Virgins-The Virgins
Vampire Weekend-Vampire Weekend
Elephant Shell-Tokyo Police Club

I feel like I am forgetting some, but oh well. All of those albums are very very good. Most of them are indie pop albums and a few dance and a few folksy. Just pick one at random and listen to it. I promise you'll like it.

ps I know that those paragraphs I wrote have mistakes, but I really dont want to fix them so just ignore my poor grammar and spelling. kthnxbye