Last night my room mate decided to listen to music while I was trying to go to sleep. I wasn't too upset because when that happens I just usually put my headphones in and listen to Django Reinhardt. I usually try not to listen to music when going to sleep because I'm afraid I'll get into the cycle of not being able to sleep without it. I did that over the summer. I'd fall asleep watching CNN or something else on T.V every night. I couldnt go to sleep without it and it was kind of a problem when I went off to college.
Anyways, last night was probably one of the most relaxing nights in past memory. I just closed my eyes and imagined Django playing. His cigarette pressed between his lips and his eyes closed as his fingers danced along the guitar. I usually can't stand those guitarists that just jam and play crazy chords but their is something about him. His playing blends perfectly into his backing band creating a classic jazz sound and it just whoos me like no other.
A relaxing night to a stressful few weeks.
EDIT: AHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS MY 50th POST AND I DIDNT MAKE IT AS AMAZING AS IT SHOULD HAVE BEEEENNNN.
oh well. 50 posts in, what 3/4 months? not too bad. watch out 51: here i come.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday
I’ll have the late shift; probably from about midnight till three a.m at the radio station. I’ve thought long and hard about this and I think my on air name would be “Pronto” and I’d disguise my voice. I’d play music that is only nostalgic and maybe some nights I’d even have a little contest. I’d say “the seventh caller to call in and tell me the name of the 26th president of the United States will win a prize!”. The seventh caller would come on air and would be excited and nervous and I’d say:
“Hello? Who is this?”
“Caroline”
“Well Caroline…you’re the seventh caller! Congratulation! So here’s the question one more time: who was the 26th president of the United States?!”
There would be screams and I’d be trying to calm her down.
“THAT’S RIGHT! YOU ARE ABSOLUETLY CORRECT! CONGRATULATIONS CAROLINE!”
It would be just me in the radio booth, and on the other side of the glass would be traffic and weather expert Bernard “Barns” James. He’d jump into the conversation every now and then just like the band leaders do on the late night talk shows. Everyone out in the real world would tune into listen to our banter and laugh and pretend that we were friends with them in real life. Theyd probably imagine that maybe Barns and I had been hanging out with them that evening, just watching T.V and joking around. Then when it got close to midnight I’d let out a sigh and say “Well it looks like ol Barns and I have got to head to work. See ya later.”
Barns and I would spend the night just chatting and listening to music. Maybe there would be an old coffee maker somewhere in the radio station. It’d make nasty tasting coffee but I’d eventually get so used to it that I wouldn’t drink any other coffee.
Maybe early in the morning, perhaps around 2:45, when Barns had gone to the bathroom and I was all alone in the station and pretty sure that no one was listening, I’d whisper a song dedication to you.
Your Silent Face by New Order
“Hello? Who is this?”
“Caroline”
“Well Caroline…you’re the seventh caller! Congratulation! So here’s the question one more time: who was the 26th president of the United States?!”
There would be screams and I’d be trying to calm her down.
“THAT’S RIGHT! YOU ARE ABSOLUETLY CORRECT! CONGRATULATIONS CAROLINE!”
It would be just me in the radio booth, and on the other side of the glass would be traffic and weather expert Bernard “Barns” James. He’d jump into the conversation every now and then just like the band leaders do on the late night talk shows. Everyone out in the real world would tune into listen to our banter and laugh and pretend that we were friends with them in real life. Theyd probably imagine that maybe Barns and I had been hanging out with them that evening, just watching T.V and joking around. Then when it got close to midnight I’d let out a sigh and say “Well it looks like ol Barns and I have got to head to work. See ya later.”
Barns and I would spend the night just chatting and listening to music. Maybe there would be an old coffee maker somewhere in the radio station. It’d make nasty tasting coffee but I’d eventually get so used to it that I wouldn’t drink any other coffee.
Maybe early in the morning, perhaps around 2:45, when Barns had gone to the bathroom and I was all alone in the station and pretty sure that no one was listening, I’d whisper a song dedication to you.
Your Silent Face by New Order
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
summer people
There a number of things that I am fascinated with. A few being: prep schools, autumn, space, WWI, pop culture in general, and youth.
I know its kind of weird to say "youth" as something to be fascinated with, when in essence, I am a youth. Its more of a idyllic version of youth that I have. I love the idea of summer romances. I love the idea of spending days without any cares in the world. Never sleeping on hot summers nights. Feeling that one cool breeze out of hundreds of humid ones, the one that makes you just want to close your eyes. Days spent swimming in a lake surrounded by a still forest. Nights spent swimming slowly and quietly in the lake with a group of your closest friends. The moon reflecting on the water and walking barefoot down a dirt road back to your house and the fireflies dancing above the ground. Days spent with your friends and having nothing to worry about but how you are going to spend tomorrow.
I know its kind of weird to say "youth" as something to be fascinated with, when in essence, I am a youth. Its more of a idyllic version of youth that I have. I love the idea of summer romances. I love the idea of spending days without any cares in the world. Never sleeping on hot summers nights. Feeling that one cool breeze out of hundreds of humid ones, the one that makes you just want to close your eyes. Days spent swimming in a lake surrounded by a still forest. Nights spent swimming slowly and quietly in the lake with a group of your closest friends. The moon reflecting on the water and walking barefoot down a dirt road back to your house and the fireflies dancing above the ground. Days spent with your friends and having nothing to worry about but how you are going to spend tomorrow.
Monday, March 23, 2009
i didnt want it to mean that much to me.
i had some misconceptions about this band after their first album (mostly that they werent that good), but after seeing the video for their new song i am more than excited for their album. i love love love music like this. it reminds me of "movement" era of new order. style and melancholy included.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
im a sap
im such a sap for stuff like this but i really dont care. i wish every commercial was as well thought out and original as this one-id probably watch a lot more tv if they were.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
cold mountain air
I must have been something like five or six. It was so long ago that I can’t really remember any specific details about my dad’s co-worker/friend Gary.
I’m guessing I must have met him when we lived in Corpus Christi a long long time ago and I remember only two things about him:
1. He had a coffin as a coffee table in his living room and I would always sit there and ask if I could open it and he said no because id wake the person up inside.
2. He had a gigantic train set in his garage.
Something inside of me has this longing to build something really great and extremely meticulous that would take a bunch of planning but would be absolutely magnificent when I finished.
I’ve attempted this once and day dreamed about it twice.
I guess it was 8th and 9th grade that I was really into building models. I had a whole routine I would go through. I’d get my mom to take me to Hollywood Video and I’d pick out a movie from the classic movies section (this is where I my James Cagney phase got its start but that’s a whole other story). Id come home and wait for everyone to finish eating and go to bed and then Id pull the coffee table close and spend hours building model airplanes while watching old movies.
I think I built something in the area of ten planes. I started with small ones because I was afraid of building and messing up a large one, and I eventually worked my way up to the larger ones. My whole vision for this was to hang all of my models from my ceiling in my room. I’d stage air battles and lay in bed, right before I drifted off to sleep and imagine explosions and little miniature pilots floating down on parachutes.
Of course I got bored and moved on but I continued to daydream about my future projects.
I think I wrote a blog about this one on Roll With the Punch but I had always dreamed of buying a bunch of those packets of glow in the dark stars one summer. I’d get online and study pictures of the real night sky, how God made it, not like the Houston night sky where only a few stars are visible on the clearest of nights. I wanted to stare at the sky somehow. I had this whole fantasy in my mind (and believe me I knew this part was never going to happen). I imagined that I would have to build a scaffold like Michelangelo to reach the top of my ceiling and I’d be stuck lying on my back sticking pieces of sticky tack on the back of stars. It would take me all summer and on the last day of summer, as the first signs of fall could be felt outside, I’d open my window and let a nice cool breeze come in. Id put my hands behind my head and lie on my bed, imagining that the stars I had put on my ceiling were real. I’d even feel a little tingle of excitement when I found a constellation. “There’s Orion!” I’d say in a whisper. “You know they call him ‘the hunter’. See his belt? There, just to the right, is ursa major, ‘the great bear’.”
These past few weeks, for some reason, I have been thinking about Mr. Gary’s train set. I remember he had tunnels, a forest, and a little train station with small people waiting for the train; the conductor frozen with his lantern out looking down the track. I imagine that if I were to build a train set my town would be named Wellsville, snuggled in the cold mountain air of Vermont where sweaters are always worn, even in summer. It would look like autumn all year round and Id have a huge mountain range with a tunnel that was dynamited through years ago. You’d be able to stick your head down to eye level with the tunnel and watch the light of the train get larger and larger as it chugs its way along. Id have a time table with arrival and departure times and I would have to wake up every morning to make sure to start the train so it would be known as being the most reliable and on time train ever.
The last run of the train would leave at 11 o’ clock sharp. It’s the night train and only a few people would be on it. They’d all have little pull out beds to sleep on. Not all would sleep though. A few of the guys would stay up all night playing billiards in one of the cars and their girlfriends would be sitting in the corner talking and drinking tea. Then there is this guy standing on the platform of the caboose in the very back of the train. His head tilted up as he tries to find Orion in the clear mountain sky.
I’m guessing I must have met him when we lived in Corpus Christi a long long time ago and I remember only two things about him:
1. He had a coffin as a coffee table in his living room and I would always sit there and ask if I could open it and he said no because id wake the person up inside.
2. He had a gigantic train set in his garage.
Something inside of me has this longing to build something really great and extremely meticulous that would take a bunch of planning but would be absolutely magnificent when I finished.
I’ve attempted this once and day dreamed about it twice.
I guess it was 8th and 9th grade that I was really into building models. I had a whole routine I would go through. I’d get my mom to take me to Hollywood Video and I’d pick out a movie from the classic movies section (this is where I my James Cagney phase got its start but that’s a whole other story). Id come home and wait for everyone to finish eating and go to bed and then Id pull the coffee table close and spend hours building model airplanes while watching old movies.
I think I built something in the area of ten planes. I started with small ones because I was afraid of building and messing up a large one, and I eventually worked my way up to the larger ones. My whole vision for this was to hang all of my models from my ceiling in my room. I’d stage air battles and lay in bed, right before I drifted off to sleep and imagine explosions and little miniature pilots floating down on parachutes.
Of course I got bored and moved on but I continued to daydream about my future projects.
I think I wrote a blog about this one on Roll With the Punch but I had always dreamed of buying a bunch of those packets of glow in the dark stars one summer. I’d get online and study pictures of the real night sky, how God made it, not like the Houston night sky where only a few stars are visible on the clearest of nights. I wanted to stare at the sky somehow. I had this whole fantasy in my mind (and believe me I knew this part was never going to happen). I imagined that I would have to build a scaffold like Michelangelo to reach the top of my ceiling and I’d be stuck lying on my back sticking pieces of sticky tack on the back of stars. It would take me all summer and on the last day of summer, as the first signs of fall could be felt outside, I’d open my window and let a nice cool breeze come in. Id put my hands behind my head and lie on my bed, imagining that the stars I had put on my ceiling were real. I’d even feel a little tingle of excitement when I found a constellation. “There’s Orion!” I’d say in a whisper. “You know they call him ‘the hunter’. See his belt? There, just to the right, is ursa major, ‘the great bear’.”
These past few weeks, for some reason, I have been thinking about Mr. Gary’s train set. I remember he had tunnels, a forest, and a little train station with small people waiting for the train; the conductor frozen with his lantern out looking down the track. I imagine that if I were to build a train set my town would be named Wellsville, snuggled in the cold mountain air of Vermont where sweaters are always worn, even in summer. It would look like autumn all year round and Id have a huge mountain range with a tunnel that was dynamited through years ago. You’d be able to stick your head down to eye level with the tunnel and watch the light of the train get larger and larger as it chugs its way along. Id have a time table with arrival and departure times and I would have to wake up every morning to make sure to start the train so it would be known as being the most reliable and on time train ever.
The last run of the train would leave at 11 o’ clock sharp. It’s the night train and only a few people would be on it. They’d all have little pull out beds to sleep on. Not all would sleep though. A few of the guys would stay up all night playing billiards in one of the cars and their girlfriends would be sitting in the corner talking and drinking tea. Then there is this guy standing on the platform of the caboose in the very back of the train. His head tilted up as he tries to find Orion in the clear mountain sky.
clap your hands for monday mornings and awkward silences
im sorry guys, i tried on...saturday night think? to write a blog and i wrote a pretty good bit andiI re read it and hated it. i tried to finish it just now but i still hate it so i think i may just throw that one away. besides that attempt i was just realllyyyyy lazy over spring break as far as writing goes. i wasn't productive in the least. i kind of didnt want to write this one seeing as its 1:28 in the morning and i tried to resort to digging throught some stuff i have on the computer and man i knew i had written a bunch of stuff last semester for my old blog and just writing in general, but i was shocked at just how much i have on my computer of just paragraphs i have written of made up memories.
i have a feeling that sentence was a giant run on, but am too tired to fix it.
anyways. i hung out with my mom during most of the days of spring break. we went book shopping a few times and it rained for most of the week, and i have to tell you: going up and down the aisles of a tiny used bookstore while you can see the dark gray clouds and the pouring rain outside is absolutely amazing. it relaxes me like no other. pei wei afterward is also a plus.
i plan on blogging more often now. its funny because when i had absolutely nothing to do during spring break i could have written so many blogs (as i had planned) but didnt. now that im back at school and have homework i have this urge to just blog and blog and blog.
but we'll see.
i have a feeling that sentence was a giant run on, but am too tired to fix it.
anyways. i hung out with my mom during most of the days of spring break. we went book shopping a few times and it rained for most of the week, and i have to tell you: going up and down the aisles of a tiny used bookstore while you can see the dark gray clouds and the pouring rain outside is absolutely amazing. it relaxes me like no other. pei wei afterward is also a plus.
i plan on blogging more often now. its funny because when i had absolutely nothing to do during spring break i could have written so many blogs (as i had planned) but didnt. now that im back at school and have homework i have this urge to just blog and blog and blog.
but we'll see.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
spring break
i like giving myself projects to do-things to look forward to. so ive been thinking and ive decided that this spring break, starting this friday, i will write a blog a day-ending on sunday march 14th.
so watch this space. i know you want to know what brian is planning but you guys will just have to sit on the edge of your seat for three more days, but trust me: itll be worth it.
so watch this space. i know you want to know what brian is planning but you guys will just have to sit on the edge of your seat for three more days, but trust me: itll be worth it.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
journal entries
*sorry i cant figure out how to resize it. might just have to squint. i may retype it if anyone wants to read it.
twee
It’s overcast days. It’s those few seconds of nervousness you feel before you reach out to grab a girl’s hand. It’s the moment when you close your eyes just before you go in for the kiss. Its bleak winters and lazy summers. It’s falling in love with a girl you’ve never met before. It’s the sad nostalgia you feel for the past. It’s the end of crushes and the beginning of new ones. It’s being in love at its purest and simplest form.
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