mayfly worms

i finished this book called "from rockaway" by jill eisenstadt a few weeks ago. it was really really good and there is this passage in the book that i really liked.

"I read once about how mayfly worms live in the mud in the bottom of a pond for eighteen years and how when they get out, finally become flies they mate and dies all in in an hour. That' living huh?"

interesting.

tonight was a disaster

oh yes, yes it was. UGH. ever feel like just saying that? UGHHHHHHH. just a long drawn out ughhhhhhhhhh.

well i do. especially after tonight. God i made that so awkward. mostly for myself, but hey, whats new.

then something clicks

my two most favoritest music things are as follows:

1. distortion and synths
2. guitars tuned just right to get that perfect janglinesh followed by lyrics about falling in love.

as far as the janglinesh and falling in love goes i dont think any other song comes close to this one.



ahhh if only there were more "skankin queens" in the world today.

i may be out of it but im still into you

i was watching tv just now and this commercial came one for this show called "one way out": oh my gosh.

here's the preview that i saw


i am so excited. you know this means im probably going to spend all day in the library tomorrow to finish all of my homework for monday night just so i can watch this show without distractions.

just read what he does on the first episode!:
Escapologist Jonathan Goodwin tests his theory of minimal movement with a scorpion trapped inside his mouth and with his body covered in 200,000 agitated bees. He must endure excruciating pain as he attempts to set himself free.

wuttttttttttttttttt

besides that, todays been alright. ive been kind of down but whatever.

a wrong turn and raindrops

i found this when i was looking through my box of letters from the 6th grade. i guess we had to have a list of what our ambitions were as a 12 year old and lets just say its changed a whole lot since then.



(the date on it is "february 26, 2002 Brian Sanders 12 yrs old)

"it was somewhere, right along here, that i lost all interest in life"

for the past few weeks i have been drinking nothing but "butterfinger hot chocolate" every night. it tastes sooooo good compared to the regular kind. its pretty easy to make too; i just stick a cup of water in the microwave and wala: waco water tastes drinkable again. i like it so much i thought about pouring all 8 packets out and eating them without water, but im pretty sure i would get really sick.

to accompany these hot chocolate cravings my aunt sent me these little debbie cakes that you stick in the microwave and it rises in like a minute and a half. its crazy.

you guys probably think all i eat is junk food- not true!

i just got finished watching the movie "breaking away". it was soooo good. one of the best sports movies ive seen, dont get me wrong, its not only about sports-it has a story line too. ( i dont think i breathed on that final lap)




its late and ive got class at 9 tomorrow morning. night guys.

please love this band for me

there's a place in my head where the sun never sets and my memory is selective

things i cant stand:

elliot smith

the fountain

henry david thoreau

rick von sloneker

things i love:

shoegaze

audrey rouget

dried blueberries

stardust memories

she's got a sunshine smile, the kind that warms up the corners of my cold room.

i came home for the weekend. first night back and i had a blast. some of my friends came over and we went hot tubing and played video games till four in the morning.

im not a very big video game type of guy. i dont feel the urge to shell out $400 dollars or more just to play video games, but my friend alex got this game called "left 4 dead" for Christmas.

i have been addicted ever since.

the whole jist of it is you just kill zombies. nothing else but that. so alex and i beat it on normal so we decided to up the ante and give it a go on advanced. we must have played this one level where you have to protect a boat house until a ship comes to get you at least 40 times over the break. we both thought it was impossible to beat but im happy to say friday night we beat it. this is going to sound reallllyyyyy lame and corny but we celebrated. we both were screaming and hugged and i was so happy and proud. weird huh?

so yesterday i went and got coffee with my good friend marc.

(marc)
i hadnt seen him since the end of summer and it was great to see him again. we both worked at jc penney two summers ago which was great. hes probably one of the funniest people i know/one of my best friends. i love just hearing him tell me stories about art school in kansas city. its literally like reading a bret easton ellis novel.

last night my dad got tickets from his company for the rockets game; we sat so close. it wasnt the first time i sat that close but get this: we sat next to mayor bill white, the mayor of houston. i know right! i love going to rockets games, theyre so fast paced and exciting and i get caught up in them. its always a blast and if i lived downtown id probably buy season tickets so i could go every night.
downtown houston

rockets game

today i spent four hours doing homework and basically didnt get anything done because i procrastinated every chance i got. oh well.

tonight i went to my friend ben's house. it was his sisters birthday and he had a bunch of our friends over and we competed against hannah and her friends in a scavenger hunt. it was fun, and we ended up winning so that was a plus.

im going back to waco tomorrow. im going to a conference i signed up for through our church. im not to sure how much i will enjoy it and im kind of half heartily regretting it. the weekend after im going to see los campesinos and broken social scene in austin.

oh ive gone on another masterpiece theatre kick. wow what a show. i love that kind of stuff.

did i find you or you find me?

so here it is: the first 15th of 2009. 11 more of these babies to go and i think that this is quite a good start.

the theme of the mixtape is songs that epitomize being in love. whenever i hear these songs i think it embodies (whether through vocals, mood, or just over all sound) what it feels like to genuinely care for someone that you love (whether they know it or not). both of these songs are two of my favorites in the whole wide world, and i know there is only two, but trust me, i went through all of the songs i have (a BUNCH) and none of them came close to these two so i didnt want to waste your time. these are the best of the best. i hope you enjoy it.

this one is for you amelia.



1. This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) by Talking Heads
2. Temptation (Alternate 12 inch version) by New Order

Download: http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?ymgtyg2ydr4

but i feel alright when you smile

My friend Alex and i have made a pact, signed in blood when the clock struck the witching hour.

not really, but we did decide to work out together.

even though he is all the way at UT Tyler and little old me is three hours away at Baylor we have both agreed to run a mile on mondays, wednesdays, and fridays. well I went into this with the attitude of "oh 1 mile pahhhleeeeaasseee, i ran that sophomore year in like 6 minutes. plus im a pretty skinny guy so im in shape AND i play water polo."

boy was i wrong.

apparently being skinny doesnt mean you are in shape seeing as it took me 10 minutes to run a mile on an indoor track on Monday. i was dying on the eighth lap and considered walking the final lap, but decided on a slow jog.

today i ran it again and did it in 9 minutes. i only ran it in 9 by pushing myself since alex ran his mile on monday in 9 minutes and i didnt want to get shown up again (that and i had incorrectly added how long i had been running and thought i was at 10 minutes and didnt want to drift over into taking 11 minutes, but that's beside the point)

This morning at like 8 o clock (and tuesday morning) some kid has been jump roping outside of my dorm room door. see, on the doors in my dorm, we have these air conditioning vents at the bottom and you can literally hear everything that goes on outside in the hall, INCLUDING a guy jumping rope for 5 minutes. i woke up to the sound of THWACK THWACK THWACK over and over, then he sneezed like 8 times in a row. i would have gotten up to see who it was but i was far too tired.

internet, i know you have been waiting anxiously for the third installment of brians online mix tape. fear not, i made the album art tonight and already have the track listing. "whats the theme this time brian?" you ask. well i cant just spoil the surprise can i? trust me, its good and i thought about it all day today what songs would make the cut and i have made my decisions.

wait its already the fifteenth technically! o well its still the fourteenth in my mind.

i've never met anyone quite like you before

i think i am about to die. turns out the most beautiful girl in the world (besides that girl that works at the library who i've only spoken to once and have never seen again), Victoria Bergsman (The Concretes, Taken By Trees) made a video for one of my favorite songs in the world: Temptation by New Order. Its absolutely wonderful if you have 8 minutes to spare.

it's been ever so grey

woke up today at about 8.15, probably the earliest i've woken up in about a month. i followed my parents back to waco because they wanted to see the apartment im staying in next year. last night my mom and i checked the apartment website and they said they were open on sundays from 1-6, turns out that's not the case so my family and i just went out to eat at pei wei instead.

i am so exhausted, something about driving for long periods of time just wears me out. i still have to unpack my all of my things and i have a stack of books and movies on my bed that i need to make room for on my shelf. i think i am going to treat myself and watch "deconstructing harry" tonight. such a good movie.

school starts tomorrow, what a long day it has been.

oh how i cannot bear the thought of you

I took my dog out for a drive yesterday. Well she isn't "my" dog exactly, shes a member of the family but I like to believe she loves me the most.



Did a few laps around the neighborhood, really relaxing.

I think I've come to the conclusion, and I know I may sound really weird saying this, but I don't want a bunch of friends. I just want a small group of people, maybe 5 or so, that I know really well. Not just guys, but also girls in this group of five or six. I want to be best friends with all of them and I imagine that I would never wonder what I am doing on any given night since we would all eventually end up hanging out together doing whatever we feel like.

That was random but that's one of the things I want in life right now. That and for Whit Stillman to write another movie.

kick it back

During December, when I was supposed to have been studying for finals, I had this huge idea for a blog that I thought would be awesome. I picked out all of my favorite albums and I planned on writing a review for each one. I didnt realize how time consuming it would be/ how lazy I am. So I did it for my top 5 albums and the rest aren't in any particular order.

1. Hold On Now, Youngster...-Los Campesinos!

Not only is this my favorite album of 2008 but it easily makes it into my favorite albums of all time. Filled with beats from a glockenspiel and references c86, Bonnie Tyler, a Pavement EP, K records, and victorian novels; Hold on now youngster seems to have it all. From sudden realizations of love (“The opposite of true love is as follows….REALITY”) to Gareth Campesinos witty remarks about doomed relationships (“I’m stitching up each one of your pockets so when we are together you’ll maybe look a little less bored”) makes this album fun to listen even just for the steady stream of pop culture references. The music and lyrics fit together perfectly bringing images of hopelessness and cynicism masked behind a camp persona. Something about this album (and this band) strikes a chord with me, and every time I listen to it I am filled with memories and the ability to identify with each song.

2.Alopecia-Why?

Alopecia-Why?
With self deprecating lyrics bordering on the perverted, Why? have finally found their form. With a sound that is hard to classify into a genre and the closest I can come would be “indie rap” (even though I don’t agree with that classification 100%) the albums brings a sense of freshness. Fronted by Yoni Wolf, Why? have been making albums for the past few years, successfully sliding under the radar until this years release Alopecia. Perhaps the most enjoyable thing about this album is the strange truth in these songs. With lyrics about how bad his life has turned out (“Faking suicide for applause in the food courts of malls” )to breaking up with his girlfriend (“I’ll see you when the sun sets east, don’t forget me”). Alopecia turns out to be masterful and consistent all the way through bringing a sense of unique pleasure that you’ve never heard anything like it before.

3.The Midnight Organ Fight-Frightened Rabbit

From the opening track, “The modern leper”, this small Scottish band steals your heart. Midnight organ fight (a kind of gross name if you think about it) is stuffed with heartfelt angst and pride with lyrics such as “So you just stepped out of the front of my house and I'll never see you again.” It’s hard to imagine these guys singing about falling in love when most of their songs stem from the initial depression and then anger of a break up. Imagine all of these emotions wrapped into 14 songs ranging from the slow to the fast and you have The Midnight Organ Fight.

4.Youth Novels-Lykke Li

It seems that at least once a year a Swedish band crosses the ocean and makes it big in the U.S. Last year it was Peter, Bjorn, and John, and it seems that this year’s was Lykke Li. Singing about falling in love and being too shy to do anything about it but dance(“easy conversations, there's no such thing oh, i'm shy, shy, shy”) and all the while stealing your heart. Her songs are catchy and her backing band plays acoustic guitars and the occasional synths. I’ve been listening to this album for months and it doesn’t get old at all.

5. Red, Yellow, & Blue-Born Ruffians

Around Septemberish I was really into Violent Femmes (and still am for that matter) and I wanted to find another band who sounded somewhat similar: and then I found Born Ruffians. Although they don’t sing about teenage angst as much as the femmes did but lead singer Luke Lalonde crafts a vocal style eerily similar to my ears. Stealing the show is the song “Barnacle Goose” with lyrics “And I'm frustrated with myself but I can't change I don't want to be me anymore.” Filled with fast paced songs and accompanied shouting vocals that pop in at the most unexpected but enjoyable times. Energetic and a fun to yell to in the car and one of the funnest (yeah I know its not a word but whatever) records of 2008.

the rest (in no particular order)
We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed-Los Campesinos!
Anecdotes-Foals
Alas, I Cannot Swim-Laura Marling
Women-Women
For Emma, Forever Ago-Bon Iver
The Airing of Grievances-Titus Andronicus
Little Joy-Little Joy
This is Ivy League-This Is Ivy League
Lust, Lust, Lust-The Raveonettes
In Ghost Colours-Cut Copy
The Rhumb Line-Ra Ra Riot
You & Me-The Walkmen
The Virgins-The Virgins
Vampire Weekend-Vampire Weekend
Elephant Shell-Tokyo Police Club

I feel like I am forgetting some, but oh well. All of those albums are very very good. Most of them are indie pop albums and a few dance and a few folksy. Just pick one at random and listen to it. I promise you'll like it.

ps I know that those paragraphs I wrote have mistakes, but I really dont want to fix them so just ignore my poor grammar and spelling. kthnxbye